OK so apparently this is bothering me more then I thought that it would.  So, I figure that if I get it all out on here I can let it go…

     Let’s just start this by saying that i’m not normally a jealous person and i’m not sure if this is 100% jealousy.

     This whole thing began in the beginning of the year when my now husband, Mike, was dating this chick named Tasha.  Well, Tasha did not care for my friendship Mike (rightfully so).  At this time though Mike and I had stopped all of our affection for each other and were just friends. (no matter how much it killed me to do so) I was truly just trying to be the best friend that I could to him.  See we had something there for a brief moment before he was dating Tasha, but it wasn’t the right time and we had ended it way before he started dating her.  Well, apparently Tasha had found out about our previous affections and asked him to not have any contact with me at all.  So one day I got a text or call…I can’t remember.  I do remember the gist of the conversation though.  It was along the lines of out of respect for my girlfriend I am asking you to not contact me or come to my place of business.  (which was the local tattoo shop that well… my nephews frequented all the time)  He went as far as deleting me off of facebook and just completely ignoring me.  I at the time understood why he was doing this, but also thought that it was pretty dick of him since we were just friends and I was going to respect that completely.  I have never admitted this to anyone, but I actually cried after that conversation.  I considered him a really good friend and it really hurt. 

     Well, time went by and I would see him in town or at the gym and I would do my best to look away.  Kind of hard when you really do have feelings for someone.  I just buried those feelings and I have to be honest I did a pretty good job of pretending like he didn’t exist.  Out of the blue he waved to me one day and my heart jumped, but I just ignored it completely.  I was still pretty hurt and I didn’t want to revisit those wounds.  Oh did I mention that I am a police officer in the town that he worked in so I literally saw him all the time.  Anyways… I received a text one day from him apologizing for being a dick and he said that him and Tasha had broken up.  Well…. my heart was doing a dance, but my brain told it to stop and reminded it of the hurt that it had felt when it came to him. 

     So, Mike started dating this other chick and we just were friends.  I was doing the single thing and having fun.  Deep inside though I had these feelings for Mike that I just kept hidden.  He told me that he just wanted to be friends so I did my best to just be friends with him.  Time goes by and things didn’t work with that girl and we started spending more and more time together. 

     Fast forward months and we are now happily married and I don’t have to hide my feelings for him that have done nothing but grow over time.  So, here is where I get to the issue at hand.  We are going out to eat Halloween night and Mike drops a sob story on me about how this guy named Jason (Tasha’s ex husband and still roommate) had his dog die. (I’m a huge animal lover) And how it has been Jason and Tasha’s dog forever and they are crying and upset and want tattoos in memorial of the dog.  Mike asked me if I was OK with that and that his employee Miles would be the one tattooing Tasha out of respect for me and just the fact that it was his ex and he didn’t want drama.  Me being me said that it was OK and it is.  Well, there is something about this Tasha girl that just pisses me off.  And it probably has everything to do with the fact that she didn’t want Mike and me to have any contact what so ever.  So, I just had this feeling that she would end up doing anything that she could to get Mike to tattoo her just out of spite or whatever.  Well, yesterday they came in for their tattoos and Miles was busy so of course Mike had to tattoo her.  So, me being a female and a cop I got nosey and went on her facebook page and fucking of course she still has pictures of her and Mike together on her profile pics.  I got so infuriated! 

     I know that Mike would never cheat on me.  He is extremely loyal and has always been that way.  I just know women like Tasha and they are sneaky, manipulative, and vindictive bitches.  I don’t trust her at all! Why on earth would you still have pictures of you together on your page if you claim to be over someone and have moved on?  Plus it’s not like they are friends.  They never talk as far as I know.  I just have this feeling that she is not completely over him and is going to try to do something to damage our relationship.  I hope that she doesn’t try for her sake.  Mike and I have a very honest relationship and it is strongly based with our friendship.  My husband would never cheat on me, I just don’t want her to try and make him upset by him having to be mean to someone.  He hates conflict and doesn’t like to be the “asshole”, but I know him and if she does try anything to hurt our marriage he will be the “asshole” and he will be upset about having to do that. 

     I just had to get out my feelings and thoughts about this.  Mike is the sweetest, kindest, most amazing man, with the biggest heart and I don’t want to see him upset.  I thought that it was amazing that he even asked my feelings and thoughts about the whole thing with her.  Then he was worried that I would be upset by him having to tattoo her.  I don’t want to be the jealous person that freaks out over stupid shit.  For some reason this just seemed to bother me more then I thought it would.  Now that I have written it all out it doesn’t seem to bother me much anymore.  I’ll definitely get past it, but I’ll still keep an eye out for her.  My gut instinct is almost always right and there is just something deceitful about her…